Ulysses S. Grant was a true case of still waters running deep.
The Young Romantic
Hiram Ulysses Grant (his name at birth) was an amalgam of both his parents: the tenacity of his father and the taciturnity of his mother. He did not give up easily (if at all), and he did not talk much – unless he had something worth saying.
As the eldest of six siblings, he had plenty of family companionship and was well liked among his schoolmates and neighbors. But his best affinity was with horses. By the time he was eight or nine, he had established himself as a fine horseman, with “a way with the animals.”
His life and his name changed when he was enrolled at West Point. The “Hiram” part was dropped (nobody ever called him Hiram, anyway), and the “S” was an assumption from his Congressman, since his mother’s maiden name was “Simpson.” Ulysses S. Grant never changed it.
He was a middle-of-the-class student throughout, except for his horsemanship, where he excelled. But he had discovered “novels.” He readily admitted preferring the latest novels to the classics and military histories proscribed by the Academy.
He also made friends. Some were for life, no matter how their paths diverged.
One good friend was his senior class roommate, Frederick Dent. Upon their graduation in 1839, knowing his pal was assigned to Jefferson Barracks in St. Louis, a popular first deployment for new officers, Dent urged Grant to visit his folks, who lived nearby.
Sure enough, once USG had settled in, he rode out to White Haven, the Dent home, where he was warmly welcomed and told “not to be a stranger.” The Dents were a lively bunch, and the invitation to Sunday dinners were eagerly accepted.
A few months later, he met the Dent’s eldest daughter Julia, just graduated from finishing school. It was love at first sight.
The Making of a Romance
Grant was only 21, about 5’8” and perhaps 140 lbs. No beard. Unprepossessing. Still shy with women, there was something about Julia that found its way into his heart and soul.
She was far from a conventional beauty, in fact no beauty at all. Barely 18, average in height, with a build that promised to become stout with age and childbearing, she was born with an eye condition that caused one eye to turn inward at will. Since it caused chronic eye strain, her family and teachers were lenient when it came to “close” work: reading, writing, and academics in general.
But Julia’s lack of physical beauty never seemed to be a problem for her. She was genuinely outgoing and pleasant, and always had plenty of friends – and suitors.
Grant was attracted because they were comfortable together. He could talk to her. She was sympathetic. She was honest. She was fun to be with. He began showing up at the Dent home more often – mostly to see Julia.
With four older brothers, she was obliged to be a tomboy, and could climb and run and fish. And an excellent horsewoman. This appealed to USG, who now had a companion for an afternoon’s ride.
As the weeks passed, and winter became spring, the two periodically took sketchbooks and a picnic basket to a particularly lovely grove in the woods. They were falling in love.
When Grant was reassigned to Louisiana, he became depressed at the thought of leaving the young woman he wanted to marry. But before leaving for his new post, the two became secretly engaged. Julia knew her father would object; not for Grant himself (who he liked), but because they were too young, and second lieutenants do not earn very much. They decided to wait. And exchange letters.
They did not know it at the time, but they would only see each other once during the next four years.
Wildflowers
The assignment in Louisiana led to Grant’s next assignment in the Mexican War. It was a foreign country – during wartime. Sending and receiving mail was long and arduous. Weeks passed before mail arrived.
Grant wrote often, with a surprising fluidity and ease of style. His prose was direct, sincere and without the common Victorian affectation. Julia wrote sporadically, perhaps one letter to his five. Warmly, but very much within the limits learned in school.
Nevertheless, in one of her letters, she mentioned re-visiting the grove in the woods where they enjoyed picnicking. It was spring and the wildflowers were abundant, so she picked a few – and enclosed them in her letter.
Alas, and despite the charming gesture, the time and distance and had turned the enclosed flowers to straw, and all that was left were flaky petals, dried leaves and dust. When Grant opened the envelope in a secluded spot in his wooded encampment, a stiff wind blew whatever was left of the precious flowers away.
He later told her that he spent the next two hours chasing a few remnants of her handpicked present in order to preserve the dear gift that her hands had touched. He was unsuccessful. Most of the petals had disintegrated and were at the mercy of the wind.
True Love
At the end of the War, USG came to collect his intended. He was now 26, tanned, muscular, and a brevet Captain. She was 22, and old enough for marriage. They had waited, and their happy reunion immediately surrounded their unchanged feelings of four years earlier.
Their love was true and deep, with the loyalty and sincerity that Grant needed and Julia was happy to provide. It would last for forty years, through thick and thin.
Sources:
Grant, Julia Dent, (Simon, John Y. Ed.) – The Personal Memoirs of Julia Dent Grant – G.P. Putnam’s Sons, 1975
Korda, Michael – Ulysses S. Grant, The Unlikely Hero – Atlas Books, 2004
Ross, Ishbel – The General’s Wife – Dodd, Mead, 1959
https://millercenter.org/president/grant/life-before-the-presidency
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