Lincoln and the Fair Sex

Abraham Lincoln had comparatively little personal involvement with women – or even young girls. His mother died when he was nine. His sister Sarah, older by two years, died in childbirth at age twenty. While he had two older stepsisters, Matilda and Sarah Elizabeth (Betsey), there is little to suggest close companionship with them.

As he grew to young manhood, his tall, lanky physique was topped by a homely head. One story purports that a woman remarked that he was the homeliest man she ever saw, and suggested that he might at least stay home. While that incident is likely apocryphal, the essence holds. Lincoln was no Adonis, and he knew it. But it couldn’t be helped. 

Ergo, while he was always polite and respectful to the ladies, his main social companionship was masculine. Fellow townsmen. Fellow attorneys. Fellows who passed a little time sitting around the cracker barrel in the general store. They didn’t care about Lincoln’s lack of handsome. They liked him.

Between his plain looks and gangling appearance, he was also dirt poor, which inhibited his social skills in the “female” department. He did not marry until he was nearly 33. Still homely, still gangling and still poor. And as a father, he was very much in the early Victorian mold: boys were to be educated and trained to a purpose; girls were to be pampered and petted. And Lincoln was the father of four sons, but no daughters.

The Political Rise and Prominence

Lincoln the lawyer was a very good one. Diligent, fair minded, and with a warm and engaging sense of humor.  He found politics agreeable to his personality, and beneficial to his pocketbook. Joining with his peers “riding the circuit” he met nearly every prominent politician in Illinois – and even in neighboring states.

When his politics “jelled” to the point of serious national candidacy, he was around fifty. Still homely, still gangling. Not quite so poor, but far from wealthy. 

The Lincoln photograph taken by Mathew Brady just prior to his 1860 Cooper Union speech in New York City was widely circulated. Lincoln himself credited that photograph in helping secure his election. 

In another photograph, taken later in 1860, with Vice Presidential nominee Hannibal Hamlin of Maine, Lincoln was still homely and gawky looking. 

Miss Grace Bedell

In an age long before women could vote, the fair sex were still wildly interested in politics! Many of them believed they wielded considerable influence with their significant menfolk. Maybe. But political crowds were seldom off limits to women!

In Westfield, a little town in Chautauqua County, NY, (near Lake Erie) population not-a-lot, there was a local fair in the fall of 1860. It was political season, and 1860 was arguably the most polarized and vocal political election ever held in the US to that date. FOUR candidates were in the running. Vice President John Breckinridge was the candidate for the southern Democrats; Senator Stephen A. Douglas, for the northern Democrats. Former Congressman Edward Bates represented the old Whig party, now on its last legs. And Abraham Lincoln, an attorney from Illinois with little national exposure, was the Republican candidate. It was only the second election fielding Republicans. 

As such, handouts, posters and ribbons were dispersed generously at the fair. Norman Bedell, a strong supporter of the Republican Party, had gone to the fair, and brought home one of the posters featuring Lincoln and Hamlin. His daughter saw it, and believed the Presidential candidate’s physiognomy could be be improved, perhaps to balance the triangulation between broad forehead and tapering chin – if he grew a beard.

Grace Bedell was eleven years old. But she was bright and articulate, and daring enough to write a letter to the Republican candidate. She suggested that he grow whiskers. They were very popular with the ladies.

An amused, paternal Lincoln responded, thanking her for the suggestion, but wondered if it might be too much of an affectation. Nevertheless, he took her up on it.

Enroute to the Presidency

After Lincoln won the election in 1860, he embarked on a circuitous journey from Springfield IL to Washington for the inauguration. One of his stops was in Buffalo, the second largest city in New York. It is also about an hour (today’s drive) from Westfield, and was scheduled for a brief stop at the station, which was jam packed with supporters hoping to get a glimpse of the POTUS-elect. With a beard.

While he was there, he remarked that he was pleasantly “acquainted” with one of its residents, and asked if Miss Grace Bedell was in the audience. A small hubbub arose, and a man leading a 12-year-old young lady to the train came forward. Lincoln was pleased to introduce her, explained the occasion of the acquaintance, admitted that he took her advice, and gave her a kiss. Later, they spent a few minutes in private conversation.

Epilogue

While the “occasion” was a charming human-interest story in the press, the Bedell family fell on harder times not long afterwards. In January1864, Grace, now 16, penned another letter to President Lincoln, explaining the family misfortune, and hoped the POTUS might recommend her for a position in the Treasury Department to help support her family. When her letter was never answered, she suspected that perhaps the President never received it, and wrote another. That letter was definitely not received. It eventually turned up in Treasury Department archives – in 2007!

Grace Bedell married a few years later, moved to Kansas and had one son. She lived to be two days shy of her 88th birthday. By then, the story of Grace, Lincoln and his beard had become part of American lore.

A statue commemorating the famous “meeting” was erected in 1999 – in Westfield, NY. With the beard.

Sources:

David, Donald Herbert – Lincoln – Simon and Schuster, 1996

Widmer, Ted – Lincoln on the Verge: Thirteen Days to Washington – Simon and Schuster, 2020

https://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/gracebedell.htm

https://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/sites/bedell.htm