Most people’s weddings are a big deal.

Bert and Lou: The Non-Courtship

Herbert Hoover (1874-1964) and Lou Henry (1874-1941) met at Stanford University shortly after its doors were open. They were both studying geology, he for an engineering career, and she… because she found it fascinating. Their mutual professor, John C. Branner introduced them. 

Their similarities were obvious. They were Iowa born in the same year, and both moved west at an early age. The Henrys moved to California for better opportunities. Bert was completely orphaned by ten, and Oregon relatives offered to foster-raise him. They were both energetic students with a gift for organization and administration – and love of the outdoors. 

The differences, however, were enormous. The Henrys were middle class, who could offer their daughter the benefits of both frontier and town life. And a solid education. Even before she attended Stanford, Lou had graduated from a teacher’s college, and had taught for a year. Thus while Bert was a senior at Stanford, Lou was a freshman.

Hoover-the-orphan had limited means with little material wealth. He knew hard work would be his lot. Stanford University had just opened, and tuition was free, but room, board, books, sundries and even minimal pleasures were not. He took on an assortment of odd-jobs, ranging from helping in the cafeteria to delivering laundry to pay his expenses. He also became a class officer, the manager of the baseball team, and a host of other extra-curricular activities, all of which made him one of the best-known students at Stanford. Everybody knew who Herbert Hoover was. 

Nevertheless, he was painfully shy, especially with young women. Having such limited funds, and practically none for courtship, he avoided opportunities to mix and mingle with the opposite sex. 

But Prof. Branner tried. He made sure that his two most promising students were introduced. And they became friends.

Even in a mild courtship, it was friendship rather than romance. There is some indication however, that once she met her fellow Iowan, Lou decided to “major in Herbert Hoover,” believing that a life with him would never be dull.

When he graduated, they had a sort-of understanding; they agreed to correspond. 

The Pen-Pals

The two exchanged letters for the next three years. It wasn’t always easy. Bert had a shaky career start (the economy was to blame). Finally he was engaged as a mining engineer in harsh and remote locations, which made it difficult to receive mail.

They wrote friendly letters. He told her about his assignments, the challenges and the exotic locales he was living in. She told him about her classes, and news of their mutual friends and acquaintances. When she graduated, they had already decided to marry whenever it was feasible.

Lou graduated in 1898, and returned to live with her family in Monterey, teach school a little, and wait for her intended.

The Proposal

The story goes, that HH sent Miss Henry a congratulatory telegram when she graduated. It was a very long telegram, since he told her in detail about his new engineering assignment. It would pay $40,000/year. In 1899, it was a phenomenal amount, especially for a 24-year-old “youngster.” After all, President William McKinley’s salary was $50,000. Then he added that the position was in China.

Finally, he asked her to marry him, and honeymoon in China. With a $40,000 job, he could certainly afford a wife.

Lou got straight to the point. She sent a return wire of only one word. “Yes.”

Hoover booked passage on the next freighter.

The Flexible Wedding Plans

It was a stranger who showed up at the Henry house in Monterey. Other than Lou, nobody had ever met him. Her parents had heard about him naturally, and Lou may even have shared parts of his letters with them – but the tall, tanned, muscular young man who was introduced as their son-in-law-to-be made a good enough impression. Charles and Florence Henry realized that their daughter had found a man well suited to her interests and intellect.

But although the young couple (both were 24) had agreed to marry a month earlier, the wedding had to be immediate. Bert was due in China, and passage for two had already been booked on a freighter leaving the next day.

The couple had asked Dr. William Thoburn, a professor at Stanford as well as a Methodist minister, to perform the ceremony. But he had died shortly before the wedding. Go to Plan B.

Lou had been raised Episcopalian; Bert was a Quaker. Since neither of them were rigid in doctrine, and Lou had been teaching near an old Spanish mission, she asked its Catholic priest, Father Ramon Mestres, if he could preside in a civil ceremony. He was delighted.

Herbert and Lou were married on February 10, 1899. It was a small family and friends gathering at the Henry house. No fancy wedding gown. And the bride and groom, without consulting each other, had both purchased brown traveling suits. Lou was packed and ready for an adventurous life. The train was waiting to take them to San Francisco.

An Interesting Epilogue

A freighter across the Pacific in 1899 was the legendary “slow boat to China.” It carried only a handful of passengers. Among them was a young journalist named Frederick Palmer and his wife. His newspaper sent him to report on the growing unrest in China.

They became pleasantly acquainted with Mr. and Mrs. Hoover, and the friendship lasted a lifetime. 

According to lore, the Palmers were were amazed to learn that the Hoovers were day-old newlyweds. From the easy way they responded to each other, they thought the couple were probably married at least three years.

It would always be like that. 

Sources: 

Caroli, Betty Boyd – First Ladies: An Intimate Look at How 38 Women Handled what may be the most Demanding, Unpaid, Unelected Job in America – Oxford University Press, 1995

Pryor, Dr. Helen B. – Lou Henry Hoover: Gallant First Lady – Dodd, Mead, 1969

http://www.firstladies.org/biographies/firstladies

http://www.awb.com/dailydose/?p=1884

https://potus-geeks.livejournal.com/445027.html

https://millercenter.org/president/hoover/life-before-the-presidency

Documenting the Hoover Marriage of February 10, 1899