Abigail Adams always loved children.

The Lonely Childhood of Polly Jefferson

Said to be Jefferson’s wife Martha. (Not really sure)

Mary (or Maria) Jefferson (1778-1804), called Polly as a child, was the second surviving daughter of Thomas and Martha Jefferson. Her older sister Martha (1772-1836), nicknamed Patsy from birth, was six years older – and there had been a few siblings between who died at birth. Mrs. J., unsuited for childbearing, became increasingly frail.

Three years after Polly’s birth and shortly after Lucy Elizabeth (the second Jefferson daughter of that name) was born, Martha Jefferson died at only thirty-three. Polly had no memory of her mother.

Thomas Jefferson was devastated by his young wife’s death. Patsy, aged ten, was the only person Jefferson could bear to have near him. Polly and baby Lucy were cared for by relatives and family servants. Jefferson unquestionably loved his children, but he was a cerebral man, with little patience or understanding of babies.

Two years later, practically yanking him from his self-imposed hermit-life, the United States Congress sent him to Paris as the American Minister. He took Patsy with him.

The little girls were sent to live with their late mother’s half-sister, Elizabeth Wayles Eppes. It was a godsend. The Eppes family embraced the children tenderly, and Jefferson was comforted knowing that they had a good home. Jefferson wrote to the Eppes’ regularly, sending money and occasional toys or gifts for the children.

Polly’s cousin and later husband, John Wayles Eppes.

Within a year he received terrible news. Lucy had died. She was only two. He determined that he must not be separated from the only two “souvenirs” from his beloved wife. He wanted the family to be together in Paris, and sent for Polly. He “prepared” her for the voyage nearly a year in advance, tempting her with the opportunity to learn charm and grace, to draw and dance and to speak French. He also carefully and in detail admonished the Eppes’ to find a strong, suitable ship for the trip – a daunting exercise. Polly, not quite eight, was not interested.

The Deception and The Voyage

Polly Jefferson had absolutely no desire to leave Aunt and Uncle Eppes, who she had learned to love dearly. Nor did she care to be reunited with the father she barely remembered. She became overwrought and difficult. Jefferson persisted however, and arrangements were made for Polly’s voyage on the Arundel.

She was so unhappy and reluctant to leave her foster-parents that a subterfuge had to be undertaken. The entire Eppes family went to the port and lured Polly aboard the ship, where she “innocently played with her little cousins until she began to feel at home. When she fell asleep they were speeded away, and when she awoke the voyage had begun.”  With no escort other than Sally Hemings, a fourteen year old servant, she found a kind mentor in Captain Ramsay, who she grew to admire. The passage was calm and uneventful.

Jefferson Disappoints His Daughter

The “European” Thomas Jefferson.

Thomas Jefferson, as Minister to France, had many responsibilities, and in the winter of 1786-7, he was required to travel to the south of France, and even Italy. Polly was due to arrive in England, in Spring, 1787. Realizing that an enormous amount of work had accumulated in Paris making it inadvisable for him to leave again, he asked his good friends Abigail and John Adams, recently appointed as Minister to Great Britain, if they would do him the favor of meeting Polly’s ship, and keeping his daughter under their wing until he could come for her.

Abigail Adams became a substitute mother to Polly – for a few weeks.

They were happy to oblige their dear friend. Mrs. Adams was apprehensive at first, since Polly had been taken aboard against her will, and spent five weeks at sea surrounded only by men and a teenage servant. But eight-year-old Polly bonded almost instantly with Abigail Adams and stayed with them for about three weeks.

Abigail wrote to Jefferson, giving him her glowing observations about his little girl.  “She is a child of the quickest sensibility, and the maturest understanding, that I have ever met with for her years… She listened to my admonitions, and attended to my advice and in two days, was restored to the amiable lovely Child which her Aunt had formed her. In short she is the favorite of every creature in the House… Books are her delight, and I have furnished her out a little library, and she reads to me by the hour with great distinctness, and comments on what she reads with much propriety.”

Three weeks later, once again Polly was disappointed. And angry. Jefferson did not come in person, but sent his maitre d’ to escort the child to Paris. He did not speak a word of English.

Polly had come to love Mrs. Adams and was reluctant to leave her. “If I must go, I will,” wept Polly, “but I can’t help crying, so pray, dont ask me to.”

Abigail sympathized with the child, but as fate would have it, the two would never meet again.

Years Later

Francis Eppes, Polly’s only surviving son.

The once-dear friendship between Thomas Jefferson and John and Abigail Adams never erupted per se; it merely withered from political estrangement. Polly married her cousin John Wayles Eppes, had a son Francis, and in 1804, died giving birth to a second son. She was 25.

Thomas Jefferson was President at that time, and understandably devastated by the loss of his beloved daughter. Abigail Adams had not corresponded with him in several years, but was compelled to write condolences, “to shed the tear of sorrow over the departed remains, of your beloved and deserving daughter, an event which I most sincerely mourn…  the recent account of her death, which I read in a late paper, brought fresh to my remembrance…”

Poplar Forest

In his will Thomas Jefferson left his summer estate, Poplar Forest, to his grandson Francis Eppes.

Sources:

Levin, Phyllis Lee – Abigail Adams – St. Martin’s Press, 1987

Malone, Dumas – Jefferson the President (1st Term) – History Book Club, 1990

https://www.monticello.org/site/research-and-collections/maria-jefferson-eppes

https://www.vqronline.org/essay/polly-jefferson-and-her-father